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lizzybeth
Posts:9
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| 07/25/2009 9:20 PM |
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For you men...what are some things you wish your wife would do/say to make you feel that you are appreciated and respected in your work? (Or any women who have suggestions, too!)
My DH has a very exciting job (which he admits is like an "addiction" for him.) He works many, many, hours, and is constantly in touch with them via his blackberry, and it is a 24 hour thing. We have never taken a vacation (in 20 years of marriage) because he cannot bear to miss work.
I will confess that I am jealous of all the attention and time he gives to his work, but I am praying about it, and working very hard to overcome this. I feel that God is telling me to work on my own heart and attitudes and stop trying to "fix" my husband.
The book helped me to understand a little better how deeply men feel about their work, and I am making a tremendous effort to say encouraging things to him about it. Whenever I feel so angry and jealous that I really want to cry or say something mean, I try and think of something appreciative to say to him, but it is often hard to come up with something that doesn't sound trite.
OK... one more confession...I have realized in reading some of the posts that I am as jealous of his work as I would be if he were seeing another woman. (How silly and petty is that?!) I truly want him to feel respected and appreciated because he is a wonderful provider and I love him deeply, but I am having trouble finding the best way to show him that. (Especially when I hardly ever see him.)
Any ideas? |
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liveforHim
Posts:1
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| 09/01/2009 9:13 PM |
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I received some excellent advice from a very Godly mentor of mine. There is not a wife around who hasn't felt jealous of their husband's work. Now, my mentor always digs down really deep to the root of the issue and this is something that goes back to the sin of Adam and Eve. The consequences from God to Eve (and all women because we are descendants) is that "...Your desire will be for your husband..." Genesis 3:16. We greatly desire our husbands and we desire to be number one in their life. Why is this a bad thing? Adam's consequences from God "...Cursed is the ground because of you;through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life." Genesis 3:17. Whether it be work or play, men will constantly put their work number one and their wife number 2. We will strongly desire our husbands until we are satisfied and only God can truly satisfy us.
I can't really offer any advice, but I strongly encourage you to read through these verses and pray to God about them. Knowing these simple truths almost softens the guilt that you're feeling when you say you're being silly and petty. It's the truth. Your feelings are real. Keep your heart open and He will speak to you. He will work it out in your lives. |
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lizzybeth
Posts:9
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| 09/11/2009 9:52 PM |
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| Wow. That really hit home. Your mentor is very wise, and a really appreciate you sharing that with me. I will definitely be thinking and praying about that. |
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aggent36
Posts:0
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| 09/26/2009 9:21 PM |
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| You are not alone in viewing work as a rival mistress. I have struggled with this for a long time, especially during our time in the military. The military dictated everything and I could not have him, even when I needed him. Now I compete with his job and his need to "give back" to the community. I love his dedication, but his time with me dwindles and I feel unvalued. I explained to him that his time is like poker chips on a table. Every activity takes from the stack and every new activity he adds comes from my (and my children's) stack. He sleeps only 5 hours a night so he can give at least a little time each day, but it leaves me wanting more and worrying about his health. I fear he can't go on like this much longer and I don't know if I can live with any less of his attention. It's a tough walk. But you are not alone in your feelings. God bless. |
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